There’s this place drifting in limbo between where you were 5 minutes or 5 years ago vs. where you dream & envision to be. This place… Is called the “meantime”. To support anyone going through it, these are the top 4 things I’ve learned focus you & keep you sane in this space.
- Take NOTE of the accomplishments you make.
A lot of things were taken from me as a kid & I grew up thinking that life without them was natural– confidence in self, confidence in beauty, security in relationships. But lately I’ve discovered that God didn’t make me that way. So, for the last 5yrs I’m noticing I’ve gotten 1. stronger (or rather discovered more of my innate strength) 2. braver & more daring 3. confident in myself (Physicality & being steadfast in my decisions) 4. wiser. I’m still uncovering things about myself, life, & God. Most of it makes sense on some level, but it’s not until I hit a noticeably life-altering milestone where it just really “Clicks” & I really understand. You know?
- Have FUN w/ what you have, wherever you’re at.
If you’re reading this, Idk how long you’ll be going through the struggle or have been thus far. So, instead of depressing yourself by watching the clock tick by, try to make the best out of wherever the hell you are. You may not have the money, but enjoy what you are able to afford. And shoot, save up, & invest to be able to squeeze in the occasional treat later on.
I can say confidently that reading devotional “Jesus Calling” taught me how to become more grateful at all times, even when I’m sick as a dog. Having a more (not fully) grateful mindset helps you to focus as much as possible on whatever good exists in the moment, even if it’s as small as appreciating eating some chicken salad during your 15minute break on a 7 hr shift (True story)!
- Go at your own PACE/SPEED.
If nothing else, I can guarantee you’re going to run into friends, strangers, or your favorite TV characters who are doing the things that you’re dying to. And it’s gonna make you cringe, cry, & curse God. I’m not gonna lie & tell you that you can fully ignore them & focus on your grind.. Bc they’ll be everywhere. But what I can say is don’t compare their path to yours. Go through your journey at your own pace. However long your journey (to reaching your heart’s desire is), you’ll eventually realize that MAYBE, just maybe God isn’t extremely cruel by having you still waiting. Because you’ll start noticing growth in areas you didn’t even know you needed help in or that you’ll need to have nearly mastered before receiving whatever your heart’s desire is.
Another thing you may notice is that some of those people who have what you want, either have the wrong thing (for them) or aren’t equipped to handle it… Because they lose it or mess it up somehow. And if you’ve been waiting as long as I have or longer, you may feel like having it NOW (if you can find “it”) is worth it, but it’s not. What’s MORE heartbreaking than not getting what you’ve waited, cried, & fought for is losing it not long after you get it. You’ll feel robbed. I’m not saying this to make you feel better, but rather give you some clarity.
- Honor your VOICE.
Definitely as a poet, but more importantly as a woman, I’m learning the value behind my voice. Voices grab your attention- whether good or bad. And if you don’t use yours wisely, at all, or to the benefit of someone else rather than yourself, don’t be shocked to be empty handed.. or ignored. And in the purgatory of the meantime you have to respect what your voice is saying to you! Your voice will let you know when boundaries are being pushed, or you feel like you’re about to fall off of the edge. There are some boundaries that need to be pushed to the brink like muscles which are later rebuilt, giving you a new limit to push; while making you stronger in the process. But there are moments where it’s OK to listen to yourself & take a step back. Honor your voice.
And I’d be remised to not mention that it’s better (in the long run) to go through this process with God than venturing 100% solo dolo. Even though more often than not it will seem like God is doing too much or just not enough, I’m learning that He’s doing it just right! It still hasn’t “clicked” in some ways, but I get it more than I did 6 months ago.